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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?