Nighttime Hosts Lampoon Trump's New 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Late-night's prominent hosts used the airtime criticizing President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, labeled the "Trump card," portraying it as a clear cash-for-residency system for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Witty Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic holiday jingle targeting the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... destroys everything he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the controversial initiative which permits overseas citizens to purchase U.S. residency for an investment of a million dollars, with a "premium" option for 5 million. The program's website promises processing "in record time."

"A brief thought here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the card is also intended to "extract cash" from businesses looking to hire foreign workers, involving hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he added.

"The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these people absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will permit affluent overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the form, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval ratings amid economic worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a effort to address cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of food items, where he behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.