Not having the time of your life at university? You are not the only one.

Students sharing experiences
Robert and Christina talk about their journeys of student life.

Robert Medhurst used up much of his orientation week looking at social media, reading posts about fellow students partying.

"I was just in bed," Robert recalls, describing the week as the most solitary phase of his life.

Robert's flatmates seldom socialized, and his course didn't feel especially friendly.

Despite putting himself out there by attending trial events for various societies, he was unable to locate people he connected with.

"I started to lose my self-assurance," he says. "I felt like people didn't want to form friendships with me, or they weren't fond of me."

Social Media Comparisons

Initially, Robert had no intention of studying at university and received employment offers for after sixth form.

Yet he observed his peers living it up as college students online.

"When you need to wake up for your job during the week at nine in the morning and you notice others went out on Wednesday night, you start feeling situations appear superior," Robert mentions.

University Expectations

Television programs and social media can idealize the notion of college existence.

Lots of people begin university with strong assumptions for what they believe could be the most wonderful time of their lives.

Certain attendees arrive at college with "rose-tinted glasses," notes a support services coordinator.

Study Outcomes

  • In a poll of first-year attendees early on, the primary worry was finding their place and finding acceptance
  • Additional research through polling organizations, a significant minority said they were without companions at university
  • Over one-third reported they felt anxious regularly about making friends

Personal Journeys

A different attendee's social media content was populated with clips of students enjoying themselves while living together in college residences.

But when Alisha moved from her hometown to university to pursue media studies, she found orientation period "overwhelming" because of how much alcohol it involved.

She avoids drinking and had never been clubbing before.

"I actually passed a lot of freshers' week within my living space," she says. "I simply experienced somewhat isolated."

Psychological Aspects

In a 2025 survey of numerous college learners, 29% said they contemplated dropping out.

The most common reason was psychological wellbeing, followed by economic considerations.

"Concern over all of these different things is very widespread, and typical," adds a support specialist.

Discovering Answers

Over periods, the students all found their feet and built connections.

She formed relationships through her course and via social media, while another student became more content when she could to share accommodation with peers.

Helpful Recommendations

In his case, currently in his mid-twenties and in his final year, it was participating in theater activities and working occasionally that assisted in relationship building.

His recommendation to first-year students experiencing connection challenges is to simply leave your accommodation and go to club and society taster events.

"Subsequent to periods of regular attendance, others notice your presence," Robert says, "you notice their presence, and relationships start developing."

Ronald Cox
Ronald Cox

A storyteller and life coach who shares real-world experiences to empower others in their personal and professional journeys.